Why do you talk so loud...ly?

* WARNING * 

This is a whiney post with swearing. A lot of it...both whining and swearing.

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Last night a good friend und ich went to a Cubs game.

Yes. I got a helmet of nachos. Yes, there are pictures.

Once beers were purchased and seats were found, friend Sarah (pictured above with said nacho helmet) started in on a conversation, periodically checking in on what was a rather slow game vs. the Reds.


A few moments into the game, our relatively vacant section began filling up with folks from the nosebleeds, which is fine. I understand. You see empty seats, you move on down. Nbd. Right?


"I was talkin to this bitch about the fuckin rager we were at last weekend bro because I thought maybe she was gonna suck my dick...'nahm sayin' bro? I love when them bitches suck this dick...fuckin crazy bro"

...said the white kid LOUDLY in a Fubu hoodie.


Now. I believe in freedom of speech. By all means, please talk at length about the bitches sucking "this dick"...as if it needed its own denotation; context clues buddy. Let's be a little cognizant of our surroundings.


Yes. You are at a Cubs game. Yes. It is a night game. Yes. You've had 2 beers. No. No one else cares about what you have to say about anything because guess what? We are also at a Cubs game. We are also enjoying the fall night. We have also had 2 beers. But we are not here for you, so as my friend Dani used to say, shut the FUCK up.


However, to review: it's a night game, in fall with nachos and beer...not the time or place for me to get hostile. So instead, like a good Midwesterner, I gave him the Ellen Degeneres Movie Theatre Talker treatment. Not familiar? Check it out...skip the part about popcorn, even though given the nacho situation, it's relevant.


Ellen's Movie Etiquette


It actually kind of worked, they moved after a while. But where do people learn, especially in their 20's and 30's, that talking that loudly is appropriate in any circumstance, especially about getting your d s-ed. Did I mention there were kids in our section?


The thing that gets me is that even though he may have started unaware that he was practically shouting, after people started looking at him, he got louder. I'm not sure if it's because he thought we were actually interested in his story or he got louder out of protest, I don't care.


Why do people do that? When did people begin thinking that they were either so important or impressive that everyone wants to hear what they have to say? I don't get it. Fuck. Off. If your stories are that good, start a blog.



Drives me nuts. I'll come back later with a story about a woman in Target whose daughter spit on her. Oooh lordy, that's a good one.


BE RESPECTFUL in public...in a bar? Go nuts.



BONUS: For all you Parks and Recreation lovers out there, check our Rashida Jones' new spread in Flaunt magazine:


Rashida Jones is bangin'.